How to Reframe Success; It’s Not Them, It’s You

We’re a few weeks in and going strong! So far, we’ve talked about Reframing Fear and Reframing Failure. The next stop on our journey is Success. I’ll warn you in advance, you may or may not agree, but I’m going to explain how I see success. Hopefully this helps open your perspective even just a little bit.

Because Success is the Enemy

Success, as we have come to understand it, is a subjective thing. Many people feel that success revolves around things like money or popularity, like notoriety and fame. These are all things that you may have if you are successful. HOWEVER – being successful doesn’t hinge on any of these things. You’ve been brainwashed. The wool has been pulled over your eyes. First, let me ask you this… what’s the definition of success? The Cambridge Dictionary’s definition of success is 100%:

1. the achieving of the results wanted or hoped for:
   1. The success of almost any project depends largely on its manager.
   2. I’ve been trying to persuade her to take on more people, but so far without success.
   3. I’m not having much success in communicating with him at the moment.
   4. The success rate for this operation is very low.
2. something that achieves positive results:
   1. Both films have been a big box-office success.
   2. She’s determined to make a success of this project.
   3. That salmon dish was a success, wasn’t it?

Internalize that for a moment. Success is a result of following through and completing an action as intended or better.

To Reframe Success We Redefine It

In order for you to reshape your ideas around Success, you return to the original definition. Reframe success back to what it was always intended to be. If you set out to complete, achieve or accomplish something, and you keep on pushing until you do, YOU HAVE ACHIEVED SUCCESS. That means you can be, and are, successful again and again throughout the day. Where you are getting hung up, is that you’re not recognizing success. You’re not seeing it or paying it mind. Are you frustrated because no matter how hard you work or how hard you try, you aren’t SUCCESSFUL? Well, I call bullshit on that. Being successful is that societal misnomer again. You’re successful at all sorts of things all the time. Why are you suddenly assigning an overall value of “unsuccessful” to your task list?

Did you get up this morning? Get dressed today? Take a walk? Tell someone you love them? Help a little old lady across the street?   And so on…. Think of all the successes you amass.

Let Me Reframe Success with You

I want you to sit down and make yourself a list. I want you to write out all the things you did today.

Now, I want you to write out a list of the things you didn’t do that needed to get done.

Which side is bigger?

If your list of tasks completed is longer than your list of tasks left incomplete, you’re ALREADY SUCCEEDING. You’re already successful. It’ a list of proof that you’re doing things every day to progress in life.

If your list of incompletes is longer, pick a couple AND GO DO THEM. Rinse repeat until your COMPLETED side is bigger.

As long as you don’t stop trying to achieve those tasks, you are still successful. You only fail if you quit.

(Seriously, read the post on failure if you haven’t.)

Show Success Who’s Boss

 

The point to this is to show you that success isn’t defined as what you have.  It’s a culmination of every small positive step towards each day. It isn’t subjective and shouldn’t revolve around concepts that are.

Free yourself from the shackles of societal success and get back to the basics. Build your success on your terms, and never stop trying. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks or feels on the matter, only you decide if you’re successful.